Chapter 38.1

Chapter 38.1

Jilian sighed and shook his head. It was a look Richard hadn’t been seen in quite a while.

“It’s only been about a week. It’s too hasty. This advice is not as your Lord but as your cousin. Don’t you know that rushing is not the way? Are you so sure about your emotions? It’s not confusion in a moment of passion, is it?”

“Do you see me as such a fool?”

“I’m asking because it seems like it right now.”

Richard frowned irritably at Jilian’s snark reply.

“Certainly, it’s not just a moment of impulse, not a light-hearted feeling,” he said.

“How can you be sure? Richard, you may not have properly dealt with emotions, but nothing makes people more foolish than this. You tend to simplify your emotions.”

A few years ago, Jilian wouldn’t have spoken so seriously. Back then, Jilian was no different from Richard, a naive upstart.

But now, he knew of the monster lurking in his heart, more terrifying than war. Emotions are a deadly poison and a remedy at the same time. They must be handled carefully.

It’s no different from holding a small ember in one’s hand that can quickly extinguish or blaze into a roaring fire.

However, this smart cousin was a cause for concern because he acted like a speeding dog excited by the first snowflake it saw. Even when Richard was sent to the battlefield, he never noticed this much…

But in Jillian’s eyes, this smart-ass didn’t even know what kind of battlefield he had entered.

“Do you already love the young lady?”

Richard narrowed his eyes and asked, “Is that important?”

“What? Then let me ask. In this situation, what is important, Lord Richard Aion?”

When Jilian scoffed mockingly, Richard, without blinking, said, “I want her. Sincerely.”

“To what extent?”

“I can’t have her right away, and it makes me angry that I can’t sleep.”

“If my ears aren’t clogged, that sounds like you’re passionately in love.”

“Is that so?”

“…Is that so? What strange words. It’s your heart, don’t you know?”

In response to Jilian’s coolly probing words, Richard was silent momentarily. Shadows fell on his cheeks, marked by serious contemplation.

He had thought and agonized dozens of times throughout the night. The answer still eluded him. This realm was something he knew nothing about.

At the very least, the attributes of love, which he has thought about and defined so far—healthy, respectful, considerate, and dignified—are so different from the emotions he now possesses regarding weight, color, and nature.

The love he knew wasn’t so heavy. It doesn’t make people anxious and restless and doesn’t make them lose reason.

It’s more gentle, kind, and cautious. Yes, it was thinking of the other person’s desires and feelings before his own.

Protecting, taking responsibility, and caring. That’s what he thought was right and how he had lived.

It’s not being greedy to the point he wanted the woman at every chance he could get. Possessing her as his own. Or sometimes, feeling a painful twinge in his chest when seeing her smile. He wanted to express his innermost thoughts and rely on her.

He thought he would go mad with jealousy at the thought of her with another man.

However, he was now doing just that. Richard Aion, who consistently denounced such actions not as love but as greedy passion and possessiveness, was now behaving just like the men he had despised all his life.

Richard still felt unfamiliar and internally conflicted with this side of himself. He had upheld righteous values throughout his life, but everything had turned upside down within a few days.

Is this love? Is this thick and swamp-like feeling love? Richard wanted to deny it.

He wanted to give Jasmine only beautiful, sweet, and delicate things. He knew he had already shown her unpleasant sights; secretly, he knew there was a certain satisfaction.

But paradoxically, he wanted to appear even better in front of her on such matters. He wanted to do everything he could, sweetly and affectionately.

“I don’t know. I just think it can’t be any other woman but her.”

He might be under the influence of intense and overwhelming emotions, or maybe he was being swayed by the passion he was experiencing for the first time.

But no matter how hard he tried to reason and set aside his emotions, he couldn’t give up, and even when reconsidering without emotions, the answer was Jasmine.

Even if he lived long, finding someone as desirable, ambitious, and compatible as her would be difficult.

“Well, if that’s how you feel, it must be. You’re a straightforward guy. But I’m worried that the timing is too rushed,” Jillian sighed again.

“Although I need the Grand Duchy Liovanni, it’s not urgent enough for me to risk your life. If you end up like His Majesty and your mother, how can you look at your late uncle?”