Chapter 23.1

Chapter 23.1

The scenes flashed by, disjointed like a film with missing frames. It was all a blur, like being drunk—vivid in places but mostly hard to recall. Moments like these exist sometimes, moments even you can’t quite explain. They feel like dreams or maybe fantasies. But in the end, what remains is sharp, undeniable reality.

Yeon-ha didn’t regret what happened that night. If she could go back, she knew she’d make the same choice.

Still, the mess they were in now weighed on her. It was like crossing an invisible line that had always been there between them. That night, Min-gyu slipped naturally into her bed. Of course, she was tense, but he didn’t expect anything more.

“Just have good dreams. Don’t overthink it.”

With those familiar, blunt words, he held her tightly and fell asleep. If Yeon-ha didn’t like it, she would’ve said so. But she didn’t. Held close in an almost suffocating embrace, she fell asleep without dreaming, as if this was the way it had always been.

Do I like him?

And if I do, what about him?

There was no time to dwell on questions like that.

The second time they did it, she was the one who reached out first. The pain was clear and sharp, mixed with a strange tingle, so different from any vague memories of before.

When she saw the raw desire in those fierce eyes looking down at her, a pure fear flickered inside—but in the end, she welcomed it.

The immediate stimulation spread like poison through her empty heart. Someone might look at me and mockingly sneer at how she’d become.

Someone might look at her now and sneer. Let them.

Yeon-ha laughed at the imagined scorn. She didn’t need anyone to understand what she didn’t understand herself. Maybe it was extreme self-defense, or just some kind of inexplicable rage burning within her.

Either way, the line between them was definitely a mess now. But both of them pretended not to notice. They didn’t question it, didn’t try to define what this was. In that way, Min-gyu was perfect. Yeon-ha didn’t want to figure out these feelings either.

This was her favorite kind of arrangement. A guy who wouldn’t come to her first unless she reached out. Someone who wouldn’t ask too many questions and would just hand her exactly what she wanted—a partner so ideal, it felt almost unreal.

Yeon-ha had been drifting through life, avoiding things as much as she could.

But she couldn’t keep doing that forever. She could no longer use her ankle as an excuse. Now that she’d grown accustomed to living here, it felt like she was sinking into another swamp. There was a lot she needed to do, but with someone constantly taking care of everything beside her, she had zero motivation. But still—

“I really need to get it together now.”

The realization hit her like a splash of cold water. It came at some point today when she received an unexpected birthday gift.

Yeon-ha knew she couldn’t keep seeing herself as some pitiful thing. Of course, he wasn’t her family, and he wasn’t her boyfriend either. Sure, she couldn’t exactly call him just a stranger anymore, but still…

She wasn’t in a position to dawdle or act spoiled any longer. It was like a switch flipped inside her; her complacency felt like a lie now, and everything suddenly felt urgent. The time they had together had always been limited from the start.

  *

The next day, while Min-gyu was at work, Yeon-ha went to a part-time job interview. The location was a small café near the bus stop she used to frequent daily until last year. She was uneasy about potentially running into someone she knew, but the convenience was worth it. The job was from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on weekdays, which would force her into a regular routine.

“Take care, and see you tomorrow.”

With the café owner’s warm farewell, Yeon-ha left feeling a bit lighter. She had been worried about her lack of experience in the industry, but fortunately, they asked her to start the very next day.

As she walked slowly back home, the spring air, fully settled, refreshed her senses. In the midst of it all, she noticed her awkward, limping steps and tried her best to walk normally.

“I really need to walk more.”

It had been about a month and a half since she’d ditched the crutches, yet sometimes she still felt like she needed something to hold onto. Her foot still tingled when she put weight on it…

It wasn’t just her ankle. Using crutches had thrown her weight off balance, causing pain in her shoulders, back, and hips. The doctor had mentioned that surrounding tissues might be weakened, so it could last another month or two. He advised her not to overdo it and to incorporate massages and proper rehab exercises while easing back into daily life.

“Will I be able to handle this?”

She started worrying about her job starting tomorrow. The tough, resilient version of herself felt like a distant memory. Maybe her body’s weakness was making her mind weaker too. Yeah, it was probably that. If not, even if Min-gyu was really her boyfriend, she wouldn’t have collapsed into leaning on him for everything like she had.

Climbing the familiar stairs, Yeon-ha had just turned into the alley when she flinched, spotting someone. It was the laundromat owner, chatting loudly on her phone as she walked toward her.