Chapter 57 – Possessiveness (2)
By night, the matter that had originally troubled Karenin seemed to have been completely resolved, but when he was the only one reading in the study, Karenin knew that jealousy had indeed grown in his heart. It was not aimed at a teenager like Vronsky, but was simply a fact that Karenin had learned by himself after spending six hours of thinking about it. This mood did not make Karenin feel at a loss, but made him more convinced of one thing. Karenin did not ignore this uncontrolled emotion, but put it into another, more responsible emotion.
It was a special emotion given to his wife by Karenin. The name of the emotion was just a simple name, but the content confined in it was like a colorful sphere, where his serious and meticulous world began to become colorful. Karenin had always been very good at handling his emotions and he sorted everything out before going to sleep. He came to their bedroom and saw his wife in a familiar place with her right hand on the pillow that belonged to him.
Possessiveness once again lingered in his heart.
Karenin did not put a lid on his emotions and allowed himself to feel them. If this kind of feelings will have entities, like vines they must have become luxuriant by now. Karenin lay in the quilt, and for the first time, did not wait for his wife to look for the heat source in her sleep; for the first time, the man who didn’t like contact with others, who had never been too close to anyone had taken the initiative to hug another into a warm embrace.
His expression was calm and rational, but his arms around her were like a lion’s, as if he was announcing something forcefully to other predators. In terms of comfort, it was completely irrational. But logically, it was the most satisfying decision.
That night, Karenin slept very peacefully. Later, because of this incident, he understood a truth. Marriage, when necessary, does require some strong means and determination.
As for a certain Mrs. Karenin, she did not know anything about this at all. After all, she had been busy all day long with how to love her husband more. As long as this mind remained the same, she would still be the blind little woman. Apart from her husband’s goodness, she couldn’t see anything else. Although for Anna, this sweet emotion may occupy most of her brain, but if someone reminded her that she had to find something she liked to do, she would not refuse.
It happened when Mrs. Masacci came to say goodbye to Anna. The politics, struggles, and men’s affairs no longer belonged to these two noble ladies. In a short period of less than half a month, they had established a fairly deep friendship. Some people may not find such a good friend for half their lives, and some people may be able to pick the other person out of the crowd in the blink of an eye.
“Don’t you want to use your talent to do more things? I believe you have the potential to, Anna.” Mrs. Masacci said softly.
“I am grateful for your praise, Helen, but maybe I have some tricks that no one else knows. If you let me make a dress in a serious way, I couldn’t do it.”
Mrs. Masacci misunderstood Anna’s meaning and thought she thought that a noble lady should not be a tailor.
“I thought you wouldn’t mind this. I mean, although the time we spent together was relatively short, I think you are different from others.” Mrs. Masacci said apologetically.
“No, you misunderstood, Helen.” Anna explained, “I don’t mean anything to belittle tailors. Instead, I am actually not even good at needlework, Anushka is better at these things than I am.”
After listening to Anna’s explanation, Mrs. Masacci’s eyes became clear again.
“I don’t think this is a big problem.” She smiled, “I shouldn’t worry about this anymore. But anyway, Anna, if you want to do this in the future, please don’t forget to tell me. I would be very happy to be a customer of your creations.”
After Mrs. Masacci left, Anna sat on the balcony and thought about it seriously. It was not her choice to travel to this era, but to meet Karenin, Anna had no complaints about it. She used to live to fill her stomach. The career of modeling was not as glamorous as it seemed to be, but she was optimistic by nature and could always find a good place when in trouble.
But now, with no worries about food and clothing, and married to an excellent husband, she was indeed facing a problem now. If she doesn’t like the tea banquets of those noble ladies, then she had to find something to do.
This was like writing essays when she was young. There would often be a semi-propositional composition that started with “When I grow up, I want to be…” Few people can be sure at that time what kind of person they will become when they grow up, and what kind of occupation they will engage in. Most of them may be like Anna, just to fill their stomachs, and then find cumbersome occupations. Anna spent the afternoon thinking about this problem until Karenin returned.