Chapter 9.1

Chapter 9.1

“Do you know a painter named Édouard Manet?”

I don’t know, stuff like that.

“When I first saw you, I thought of that artist’s painting.”

I have no interest in paintings and I don’t know anything about them.

That ignorance made my face hot with shame. As if even that was endearing, a cold and dry hand stroked my face.

“You were just like the woman in the painting.”

“…….”

“Beautiful.”

Fiddling hesitantly with my clasped hands, I finally mustered the courage to ask. It was because I was terribly curious about the woman in the painting who supposedly resembled me. I want to get closer to the man even if it was just through this. I want to belong to his world.

“…What’s the title of that painting?”

The corners of his mouth slightly upturned draw an elegant curve. Like a caress, the man whispered into my ear, his breath soft like a wind.

Whisper… Whisper…

The man’s reply dissipated like a sigh. At that moment, I slowly opened my eyes. The paint-peeled white ceiling faced me like a familiar face.

Blink blink. My eyelids felt dry and heavy. I tried to raise my hand to touch them, but my body wouldn’t move. Barely rolling my eyes, I saw a pale yellow IV bag hanging on the stand.

“Yeohee-ssi, you’re awake?!”

With the drrrk sound of a chair being pushed, a woman with dragonfly-rim glasses entered my view.

Doctor Ahn, we see each other often. I tried to say out loud, but somehow only my lips twitched. In Doctor Ahn’s eyes looking at me, lingered that same old pity I remembered.

“Don’t say anything. Yeohee-ssi, you’re badly hurt right now.”

Judging by the IV bag, which they wouldn’t give unless it was something serious, it seemed likely. When I just blinked my eyes, Doctor Ahn let out a deep sigh.

“They say the bullying has been going on for a long time?”

“…….”

“… I’m sorry, really. Honestly, when I saw Yeohee-ssi getting bruises, I just thought you had a little fight. Because stuff like that is common here… Haa, I guess I’ve been tainted by this place too.”

Doctor Ahn blamed herself even though it wasn’t her fault. Not just her, anyone would have. This was a place where people who deserve punishment come, and whatever happened here, no one would care.

Opening my parched and chapped lips, I barely made a sound.

“…I, bit… the ear… off….”

“Don’t worry, it’s just a bit of flesh torn. Yeohee-ssi, your own condition is worse.”

What a shame. I should’ve bitten the neck instead. While soothing that regret, Doctor Ahn took my hand.

“Yeohee-ssi, I was too much back then. I thought Yeohee-ssi was close to the ideal person I hoped for. I’ve worked here for so many days, and I’ve seen so many people seek atonement, but in the end, there were too many who changed their minds or it was just superficial. So I thought Yeohee-ssi had become like that too. It’s really ridiculous, right? What Yeohee-ssi wanted was just cigarettes, after all. What’s that, really. As if that’s some sin.”

Doctor Ahn sighed, her voice trembled at the end of her words.

I naturally didn’t know she thought of me that way. Probably, the original owner of this body must have been pretty decent to Doctor Ahn.

Doctor Ahn got up from her seat and opened the drawer of the metal desk. Taking something out and coming back to the bedside, Teacher Ahn placed them in my hand. I felt a smooth material wrapped in plastic.

“If this helps Yeohee-ssi advance a bit more on the path of repentance, I think it’s okay to do this much.”

Lowering my gaze, three packs of 88 Light were quietly held in my hand.

“Will you clean the infirmary before roll call? I’ll let the guard room know.”

All buildings in the prison, except the guard quarters, had inmates handling the cleaning. Especially the infirmary or education room were easy in many ways and had occasional perks, so it was hard to get assigned unless you were a model inmate. Doctor Ahn was saying she’d let me do that spot.

For a moment, I wondered what I looked like. How pathetic must I be for someone to make a suggestion like that?

Doctor Ahn patted my hand and continued.

“Once a month, you see that box over there? I’ll put one pack of cigarettes in there each time. That’s all I can do for you.”

Doctor Ahn comforted me with her characteristic warm eyes.

What I got after getting thoroughly beaten was cleaning the infirmary before roll call and one pack of cigarettes.

For the first time, I thought getting beaten to the point of death was a good thing. Even though my split lip and my body stung like hell.

—

After that day, Wangnyeo was placed in solitary confinement as punishment. Even though I’d bitten off her ear, my condition was considered more severe in many ways.

I received a relatively light punishment of no exercise yard walks for a week. My body ached so much anyway that I wasn’t in a state to go out to the exercise yard and face the chilly wind.

Just the fact that Wangnyeo was gone made that narrow room a fairly pleasant environment. Yera, the second-mate cell leader, glared at me, but perhaps fed up with my rampage that night by tearing someone’s ear, she looked too drained to mess with me again.

Moreover, everyone seemed quite shocked by the fact that Wangnyeo went to solitary confinement. All inmates trembled at the thought of solitary. For me who had no experience, I could only understand it as the frustration of not being able to throw a fit in a small room. Still, for the first time since opening my eyes as Ham Yeohee, peace settled in the cramped room.

Three times a week, after finishing evening meal distribution and before roll call, I went to the infirmary to clean.

On the way there, Deputy Ki always accompanied me, and I suspected it was because Doctor Ahn wanted to see Deputy Ki, deliberately assigning work only on his night shift days. Anyway, it was beneficial to me in many ways.