Chapter 13.1

Chapter 13.1

Maybe those eyes had been hidden under the brim of his cap all along. The way he looked at me now, hesitant and almost shy, reminded me of that night.

Sh81t. That’s it. That’s what I needed.

I slowly nodded.

“…Yes. I really did miss you.”

A quiet breath escaped his lips, almost like a sigh. Then came his low command.

“Get on the bed.”

The bed, there was only one in the infirmary. The same narrow metal cot I’d once lain on when he’d checked my bruised ribs, barely big enough for one person.

“……”

Maybe I hesitated because of where he was pointing, or because his face had turned pink like a teenager’s. Maybe it was just the sudden rush of realization, how fast this was moving.

Men really were all the same, after all.

I slipped off my shoes and climbed onto the bed, lying flat on my back with my hands folded neatly over my stomach, waiting for Deputy Ki to come closer.

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad about it. In fact, for the first time since I’d woken up in this body, my heart was racing with a sense of anticipation.

“What are you doing?”

“…Huh?”

I lifted my head slightly to look at him.

He looked awkward, his ears burning red as he cleared his throat.

“I said to sit on the bed.”

“Oh.”

I sat up quickly, letting my legs dangle off the edge. Deputy Ki sat down beside me, careful and restrained, his long legs stretched out so his shoes touched the floor.

My own feet didn’t reach, so they swung a little in the air. I stared at the tips of his polished shoes just to have somewhere to look, because really, I was just as embarrassed as he was.

Even just sitting there, his posture was straight and firm. The cool, clean scent unique to men lingered faintly between us, barely a handspan apart. It made me want to lean closer and run away all at once.

“That night.”

His low voice carried a hint of something heavy, almost foreboding.

“It was a clear violation of duty.”

“……”

“It shouldn’t have happened.”

His face was clouded with guilt. Like someone burdened by the weight of his own ethics, he exhaled a deep sigh, as if torn between his job and his desire. There was something almost monk-like about him, as if he’d broken some vow of purity.

No, that wouldn’t do. A man with a body and face like that shouldn’t be talking about restraint. And I had things I needed to get from him.

I reached out quickly, placing my hand over the back of his, where his veins stood out against his skin. His broad shoulders flinched slightly. His hand felt solid, so firm it almost seemed to have muscle of its own. I tightened my grip.

“Please don’t say that, Deputy Ki. It was my fault… someone like me shouldn’t have…”

I trailed off, lowering my head, feeling the weight of his gaze on my face.

For the first time since waking up in this body, I didn’t hate being in it. At least Ham Yeohee had a face that could make men lose their minds.

“…Someone like me, a sinner, shouldn’t have dared to want someone as righteous and pure as you, Deputy Ki. I know that.”

“……”

“I know I should be repenting quietly instead of thinking such things. It makes sense that you’d feel uncomfortable. A woman like me, with someone like…”

I let my voice break off, dropping my gaze as if overcome with emotion.

What kind of man was Deputy Ki, really?

From the little time I’d spent watching him, I’d learned a few things about his nature.

He wasn’t like the others. He wasn’t like Chief Park, who’d drool and pant like a dog at the sight of a bone the moment a woman looked his way.

Deputy Ki had a kind of quiet dignity about him.

You could tell just by how he looked. While most of the other guards walked around for days in uniforms stained with pen marks or kimchi soup, his shirt was always spotless, crisp like it had just come back from the dry cleaner’s. The crease on his pants was always sharp enough to cut paper.

Plenty of guards showed up to work reeking of booze from the night before, but Deputy Ki always smelled clean, fresh like cold air after rain.

His shoes gleamed, not a speck of dust on them, and his hair, neatly tucked under his cap, stayed perfectly trimmed as if he got it cut every day.

Since his face was usually shadowed by the cap, my eyes naturally drifted to the curve of his cheek, the line of his ear. Even his jawline was clean, no stubble, no roughness, and somehow, even his ears looked handsome.

From what I overheard from the other guards, he never once missed a clock-in or a shift rotation, not by a single minute.