Chapter 267

Chapter 267

Kaichen’s gaze and his cold words were terrifying.

But he was absolutely right in everything he said. I had noticed Duran’s feelings for me and had become a bit conceited and arrogant.

I had a baseless belief that no matter what happened, Kaichen would never betray me. He might not get hurt… but that didn’t mean he deserved to be treated that way.

“Is your desire to apologize related to what happened today, or is it just pity for Duran’s feelings that you couldn’t reciprocate?”

His question struck my heart painfully. It was the truth. I had been feeling sorry for Duran. I had given my heart completely to Kaichen, and seeing Duran show affection toward me made me feel a little sorry for him.

Kaichen’s words were painfully accurate. I had become arrogant enough to think that I could afford to pity someone.

Even so, I had thought it was okay. Because I had Kaichen.

Even if someone else liked me, my heart wouldn’t change. I had pitied him because I hoped Kaichen would feel a little jealous. How petty my actions were.

“How foolish!”

I buried my face in a cushion. Kaichen was right; he couldn’t understand my attitude.

I felt pathetic and foolish, unable to understand my own actions, and unwilling to understand them. I buried my face in the cushion in a mess of self-disgust.

When I finally regained my senses, it had become deep into the night, and Kaichen still hadn’t returned by that time.

I had always kept the rules of society in mind without fail. Among my abilities, my memory was the most outstanding.

It was common knowledge in the social circle that if an incident occurred, the party host should bear the responsibility for causing it. So, if there were nobles with whom I didn’t have a good relationship, I had to be careful not to invite them to the same party.

Although rumors about Lamia and me had spread quietly in the social circle, we had never clashed openly at an official event, which was probably why the Duke of Manuwell had invited me without thinking twice.

‘Part of the reason is that I haven’t attended official events…’

Why did accidents keep happening whenever I considered stepping into the social circle and building influence? Was it a divine message telling me not to do anything? If not, could someone be blocking my social activities?

I sighed deeply and got up from my seat with a gloomy expression. I kept waiting, hoping that Kaichen might return, but deep down, I knew he wouldn’t come back today.

Kaichen constantly pondered my actions until he could understand them, but I had never fought like this before. Even while I was researching magic with him.

I didn’t know how to handle it.

However… It was my fault, and the only thing left to do was to muster the courage to apologize.

Although, with Kaichen, there was a high probability that his mood wouldn’t lighten or he wouldn’t understand my attitude until he could understand my feelings and reasons.

I had to explain why I had acted that way.

“Oh, d*mn it.”

But to explain, I would have to say, “I became conceited because you love me so much. And such, I deliberately acted that way because I wanted to see the jealous side of you. So, I thought it was okay to be a little arrogant. I’m sorry.”

It was such a shameful thing to say; it was impossible to reveal the depths of my heart like that!

With that in mind, I blinked.

* * *

“Why am I… here?”

Contrary to my brain, which insisted on remaining mum on my real feelings, my body stood in front of the door to Kaichen’s room in the mansion.

The only places Kaichen went in the mansion were my bedroom, his own bedroom, and the magic research lab.

Having confirmed that he was not already in the lab, I swallowed a dry spit and raised my trembling hand. I lowered my hand, which was about to knock, and grabbed the doorknob.

I closed my eyes tightly and opened the door with a thud, but I couldn’t see Kaichen, who I naturally thought would be sitting on the sofa or the bed.

My shoulders involuntarily slumped.

I toppled over to Kaichen’s bed, trembling. The bed shook. The bedding had a familiar scent.

As I buried my face and sniffed, a warm sense of relief seeped into the inside of my ribcage. My anxious, throbbing heart also felt like it was finding its place rapidly.

Just burying myself in his bed, filled with nothing but his scent, quickly calmed my body and mind.

I couldn’t help but feel more frustrated because I knew exactly what this tingling sensation was.

Why did I react like this even to his smell?

I had believed that Kaichen’s unwavering affection for me stemmed from us sharing the same feelings. But that was wrong; our hearts were never going to be perfectly aligned.

“I liked you more, and I acted arrogantly, hoping to see you jealous…” I thought.

The size of our hearts didn’t correlate directly. They were inevitably skewed in one direction or the other.

Although Kaichen told me that he likes me and his feelings will never change, he is not as affectionate and earnest as I am.

I can’t do without Kaichen, but he can live without me.

“When do I stop being foolish…”