Chapter 194

Chapter 194

“I thought I told you to do whatever you wanted,” Kaichen said.

“…You aren’t angry?” I asked him.

“At you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not.”

Kaichen spoke firmly. He said he wasn’t angry. He looked calm, but I could feel something amiss. I felt dubious, and my 100-year-old senses were tingling. This man was now very angry.

“The-then… were you scolded because I was rude to His Highness?”

“Me?” He lifted his chin with a scoff. He looked as if he was trying to say, ‘Do I look like a person who would get scolded over such a thing?’

“Then why are you like this? You said you weren’t mad.”

There was no other way but to ask honestly, so I did just that. When Kaichen heard the question, he stared at me until I was embarrassed. I could only stare at my hands. I was worried there’d be a hole through my cheeks. Kaichen didn’t talk for a long time and let out a short sigh. It seemed to become a habit of his.

“I’m only angry at myself…” he finally said.

I glanced up at him. “… at yourself?” I said.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I wasn’t able to protect you.”

He lifted his head, keeping his gaze on his fingers. His intense gaze that had been on mine earlier, was now diverted somewhere else. He hung his head gloomily. It didn’t suit Kaichen at all.

“I wasn’t hurt, though,” I said, trying to reassure him.

“Only your body,” he said. “But you were hurt somewhere else, right?”

I couldn’t deny his words. The trembling came fast. It wasn’t until I bit my lip that I worried about how to answer him. It became like second nature to me to cry in his arms; I couldn’t hide my emotions successfully as before.

I thought he would move on without asking, like usual. He hadn’t asked me about what had transpired, even before. I thought I would be fine, but I felt affected seeing Kaichen, who had nothing to fear in the world, now have a weakness – me.

“I’m not so weak that I can’t protect my body and mind without Master,” I said resolutely. Kaichen remained silent, observing. “You said that my mind was stronger than everyone else. That I had more mana than you.”

His eyebrows twitched at me saying I was better than him, but I didn’t stop talking. My nose burned as I shifted the blame to myself for becoming weaker.

“I’m not such a weak person that I would easily blame Master for not being able to save me,” I said.

Kaichen sighed. “I’m not protecting you because you’re weak,” he said.

“Huh?”

“It’s because I don’t want you to be hurt.”

Kaichen slowly lifted his head. His posture was still assertive, but as his brows furrowed, his face became troubled, showing what he truly felt within. “I’m protecting you because… I hate seeing you in pain,” he honestly said.

I felt a warm tingle in my heart. “I’m not in pain. When I’m by your side, I don’t even feel a bit of pain,” I said.

“…Dalia.”

Kaichen exhaled slowly and slowly approached me. He sat beside me, the bed squeaking at the new presence. He slowly reached out a hand to my cheek.

“Since you won’t tell me… I’ll tell you,” he began. I remained frozen in his touch. “I hate seeing you struggle.” His voice subtly trembled.

“It’s agonizing to just watch, and not be able to do anything.”

He gently wiped the corner of my eye with his thumb. My eyes suddenly stung. I wasn’t about to cry, but now that he was comforting me, it felt like coming out of my system.

The man who had nothing to fear in the world, the man who wouldn’t say anything about being in pain, spoke way too easily about his agony and hatred. He didn’t shed any tears, but as I looked at his painfully contorted face, I felt like he was suffering even more than me.

“Master…”

“Dalia,” he sighed. “You have to be strong enough to not need anyone to save you. But still, I want to protect you.”

‘He wanted to protect me…’

Our warm foreheads touched at a distance close enough to reach my long eyelashes. I forgot how to breathe. Kaichen slightly lifted his forehead. Soft, gentle lips touched my cheeks.

I felt blood rush to my head. My heart pounded as if it was going to explode. I wondered if he could hear it. I knew I had to close my eyes, but I was so surprised that I was staring owlishly at Kaichen. He frowned.

“Dalia.”

I closed my eyes at his deep, heavy voice. He merely called my name, but it felt like he was chiding me. And I liked it.

‘Ah, what should I do?’ What if I died of a heart attack?

For a moment, I remembered the countless kissing scenes I had seen in all sorts of media in my previous life. They portrayed first kisses akin to birds flying to the sky, or hearing the sound of bells from afar. How absurd – a ridiculous lie!  In reality, you just become an idiot. You freeze, unable to think of anything.

His moist lips touched mine and my shoulders flinched at the force of the pressure. I was leaning against the head of the bed. I couldn’t escape. Even though I had no intention of escaping in the first place. My heart was beating more so than when we were just looking at each other. Like the inexperienced fool I was, I couldn’t do anything but shut my eyes tightly.