Chapter 177

Chapter 177

“But now, as I reflect upon it, I can’t help but wonder what I did wrong. The truth is, even back then, I knew deep down that I don’t have a proper lineage. I feel like an outsider, hiding behind the title of being a bastard.”

“Lucius,” her voice trembled, as if his words had pierced her heart. Deatrice, with a pale face, as if stung by his words, gently caressed his cheek.

“Don’t say such things,” she pleaded.

“I only meant to express my affection. I never intended to trouble you,” he replied.

“If your affection is genuine, then there’s no need for such self-deprecation. Please don’t speak about yourself in such a harsh manner.”

But Lucius couldn’t understand her words.

He wasn’t fabricating the fact that he lacked a proper lineage, so what did she mean by telling him not to speak like that? Regardless, they were all truths, weren’t they?

He couldn’t fully grasp it, but suddenly the thought, “Well, if it’s her,” crossed his mind. After all, she had always been of noble birth, so even just hearing the word “bastard” could be perceived as an attack or self-reproach.

Of course, well, it didn’t matter. Even if Deatrice considered him inferior to her for the rest of her life, it was fine. Sometimes, that was the truth.

“There was something I was hiding from you.”

Whether she considered the silence that had settled between them as a burden or she simply thought she couldn’t hide it from him any longer, she suddenly confessed.

“In fact, before everything happened, Frederick sent me a letter. He said he was alive.”

“…Really?”

“Aren’t you surprised?”

“I was surprised. But I thought it was only natural. If he had come back to life, he would   have wanted to let you know first. That’s what I would have done too.”

“Lucius, Frederick doesn’t love me.”

Deatrice pleaded with him to please refrain from such misunderstandings, but Lucius silently laughed.

In fact, a year ago, he didn’t love her either. He was entangled with her, but it wasn’t love.

However, despite that, he always wrote letters saying he was alive, wanting to let her know that he was a real presence, not just a passing memory and that he was overcoming the near-death experiences she didn’t know about from somewhere she was unaware of.

Then, what was that feeling? It could be lingering affection, or it could be called a prelude to love. Was it his destiny to eventually fall in love with her from that moment on?

Even if it wasn’t, he chose to believe it anyway. It was much more romantic and made him happier.

“Frederick… He just doesn’t want to show that he has lost something.”

As he didn’t give any particular response, she kindly explained the prince’s perspective. Lucius nodded vaguely and buried himself in her embrace. His blond hair scattered over her skin. It continued with short and gentle kisses, or rather, an act that was more like feeling her with his lips.

“Is it really okay? I hid Frederick’s letters…”

At first, she accepted them too, but when he didn’t say anything, Deatrice became anxious and grabbed his shoulder to stop him. Lucius supported himself with his arms and looked down at her.

“Anyway, you’re in my arms right now. There’s no reason for it not to be okay.”

“But…”

“Why worry so much?” He asked so tenderly. Deatrice looked at him, thinking he seemed even more affectionate and generous when lying in bed.

“Worried that the emperor won’t support Frederick?”

“…”

“If Frederick risks his life and swears allegiance, the emperor will have no choice but to listen to him. After all, Frederick isn’t aiming for the Empire. I understand his character. He would target neighboring small states at most. So, it’s an easy task for Frederick to swear not to use a sword against the Empire. And by doing so, we can tell the Emperor that our marriage was his command. The Emperor will have no choice but to accept that deal.”

However, Lucius didn’t give any particular response. Deatrice called his name in frustration, but Lucius quietly smiled and kissed her forehead.

“I’m sorry for making you worry like this. I’m inadequate.”

His gentle whisper pierced her heart. More than any well-crafted words he had uttered, those words hurt the most. In fact, she frowned as if something had pricked her.

“Please don’t say such things.”

“I can’t promise you not to worry, but I’m doing my best to prepare. I told you. I’ll do

whatever it takes not to lose you.”

“But it’s dangerous…”

“I won’t do anything reckless.”

However, Deatrice couldn’t trust him no matter how resolute he sounded. Despite growing closer to him, Deatrice knew there were hidden parts of Lucius, which he would never share with her, no matter how much he loved her.

It wasn’t without sadness, but from the moment she first saw him, she had suspected that he would forever remain a mystery. So, she accepted it as something familiar and moved on.

“I love you,” he said as if casting a spell, embracing her. Deatrice closed her eyes and welcomed him.