Chapter 149

Chapter 149

Lucius wondered if it was cowardly of him to listen to her behind a screen, but he immediately asked her anyway.

“Why?”

“…”

It wasn’t that he didn’t know that such a question would come up, but even Deatrice didn’t have an answer to that question. She didn’t know why she was still procrastinating on answering.

Deatrice didn’t say anything in the end, and Lucius, who had been waiting beyond the screen, eventually let out a self-deprecating laugh.

It would have been better if the conversation had ended where Lucius intended. But she just had to say that hadn’t sent the letter to the temple yet.

The letter saying she won’t be going there anymore.

Lucius also knew that Deatrice had the tendency to choose silence at a disadvantageous moment. Didn’t she break up with him even six years ago without saying anything at the end?

Some might call her actions prudent, but she wasn’t to him. He found her attitude cowardly.

With the feeling of going back to the time from six years ago, which was a nightmare for him, Lucius came out of the partition.

“Why? Why haven’t you sent it yet? What else is there to worry about?” At the end of his queries, his voice raised.

Deatrice looked at him with a surprised face. It’s been a long time since she had seen him angry.

“I’m just…”

Embarrassed, she tried to explain something, but Lucius instinctively realized that her explanation wouldn’t make much sense.

Lucius said frustratedly.

“I know I’ve treated you badly in the past, which was rather childish of me and fatal for you. Yes, I admit that was my fault. But we’ve changed, haven’t we? We’ve gotten to understand each other a little bit more. Is that not enough? Does it mean nothing to you?”

He knew he was pushing her too hard, but he couldn’t help it either. His promise to himself not to ruin the relationship burst like a bubble.

He couldn’t understand why she did it that way in the first place, or why, of all things, she decided to become a priestess. A true return to God? Was there such a noble thing? Of course not, she wasn’t as daft as to believe such a tale.

Then, what on earth could that decision mean other than punishing him?

His throat felt tight. Feeling the cravat strangling him, he raised his hand to remove it but felt no actual fabric covering his skin.

He thought he should listen to her, but at the same time, he was fed up with all the words coming out of her mouth. Lucius lowered his hand and scoffed when he realized that the ruby ring was still in his pocket.

“You have never trusted me. Was it maybe because you don’t feel that trust and certainty in me? And to think I was willing to give you a ring…”

“Ring?”

At her question, Lucius was silent for a long time, then turned his head. “I will sleep outside.”

“What?”

“Don’t wait for me.”

After saying that, the door was closed. Deatrice was a little taken aback, simply staring at the place where he had disappeared to.

***

This was the duke’s residence. How could he find another room in this place that was already crowded with wedding guests?

Believing that he would be back soon, Deatrice decided to wait for him a little longer and prepared words to coax him in case the topic was brought up again.

She walked around the room making up excuses that were half true and half false such as how she didn’t have enough time and that she truly meant to send back a refusal letter. However, Lucius showed no signs of coming back and her half-lies only got muddier as time went on.

He truly did not return to their room that night. Instead, a short note was delivered the next morning.

[Troy’s ex-wife found me a room and I slept there.

My attitude last night was uncalled for. I didn’t mean to be harsh on you. I didn’t even listen to you and left without discussing things further. I’m sorry.

I don’t hate you for it, I just don’t understand. It’s difficult to know what’s going on in your head sometimes and last night was no different. I’m not mad at you, so please don’t keep things to heart.]

It was an impatiently written note. However, the contents were quite positive, so Deatrice thought she would be able to see him again tonight because he said in his letter that he regretted his behavior, and he didn’t hate her.

But even after the day ended, Lucius still did not return.

Deatrice sat on the bed and thought of Lucius from last night and the Lucius she saw today.

She had run into him quite a few times this morning during the horseback riding event.

A bet was made at someone’s behest and Lucius’ name was mentioned. Soon, Lucius himself mounted his horse with an impressive smile.

The race started off with a huge fluttering flag and Lucius, who arrived first place at the finish line, went to Deatrice’s table and even kissed her on the cheek.

“Lucius.”

At that time, Deatrice put his hand around her waist and called his name without thinking.

Unlike him who simply made an intimate gesture that was still acceptable to public eyes, she, however, clung to him quite earnestly. Deatrice didn’t care about the people staring or their reactions. Still, Lucius pushed her away with a soft smile.

After kissing her once more, he left. He didn’t come back again later that night.

“I don’t hate you for it, I just don’t understand. It’s difficult to know what’s going on in your head sometimes…”

These words—

“You have never trusted me. Was it maybe because you don’t feel that trust and certainty in me? And to think I was willing to give you a ring…”

—and these words made Deatrice think all night. During a thunderous night, Lucius had said something similar to that.

“You have never trusted me.”

At that time, she thought Lucius was pretty cute as he hugged her and uttered those words. However, in the current situation, those words only hurt Deatrice’s heart. She felt sorry for hurting him.

Really, why am I so unsure? Can’t I fully trust and rely on him?