Chapter 134

Chapter 134

“It didn’t take long for the emperor to use the scroll and escape. The enemy appeared shortly after. But the moment he left, I won’t be able to forget the heavy silence that hung between us…”

“The scent of the place, the rain that fell on their armor, the pangs of hunger in my gut, and foreign bodies being stabbed into my flesh. I wondered what it would feel like if I died then and was buried in the ground. Soon, the bitter regrets flooded my brain.”

“Of course, not long after I was caught, it soon became clear that I was not the emperor. But they kept me alive because of the scroll. They wanted intel on what kind of scroll it was, who made it, and where he was displaced. They were tenacious and cruel as they inflicted unimaginable torture after torture on me to get the information they wanted.”

“But I don’t remember anything. In order to keep myself alive, I constantly used divine power to keep my body from giving up, so most of the memories have been erased like what kind of torture I was subjected to. Sometimes I think this was also my brain trying to protect me by locking up those memories.”

“But even so, the pain continued to pile up. My mind had turned to mush, but my body seemed to remember everything I had been through. I don’t know how many days have passed, but I recall it rained and thundered heavily during those times. But then again, I’m not sure if it was really thunder that I heard.”

“Anyway, the emperor came to my rescue, and I survived. By the end, the emperor praised me for my achievements and my heroic act so he could survive.”

At this point, Lucius paused a little, with a bit of puzzlement lacing his tone.

“Actually, to this day, I’m still a little curious as to why the emperor came to rescue me when he could’ve just left me there to die. So, I just chalked it off to the idea that he needed the reputation of being an emperor who someone would willingly sacrifice their life for. Of course, he thanked me for it a little and gave me a lot in compensation, which allowed me to return to aristocracy in a slightly different way.”

“But I still can’t get rid of that thought that he only saved me because I would be of more use to him alive—the living proof of a loyal knight who would selflessly sacrifice himself for the emperor and the nation. There would be little who’d challenge him because they know they’d have to go through me first.”

After he finished his words, there was silence.

He only talked about the emperor, but Deatrice could somehow guess some of the feelings he didn’t say.

The embarrassment he might’ve felt as a sham knight of the emperor, his double feelings toward the emperor, how agitated he must’ve been going to war for the first time, and the instinct to grab any chance of survival. It must’ve been really tough for him.

Hearing the words ‘which allowed me to return to aristocracy in a slightly different way,’ Deatrice could feel the sense of deprivation and fear he must have experienced when he was revealed to be an illegitimate child as well as his desire to somehow return.

With all his suffering, how did she react?

Deatrice raised her arms to cover her face.

“Why are you doing that?” He bowed his head to see her hiding in embarrassment, but she did not release her arms. Because she was embarrassed to even exist in front of him.

Six years ago, she was busy feeling more betrayed by the fact that he had hidden his past from her while he was being brutally kicked out of the world he had grown up. The excuse that she was young and cowardly wouldn’t even work because she had already met ladies who were much smarter than her at her age.

She barely changed.

As he waged war on the battlefield, she had only pitifully recalled painful and beautiful memories of him even, yet she did not think of his then whereabouts being exiled. When he returned with glory to his name, she was embarrassed—uncomfortable even—and didn’t dwell too much on what he had to endure to be labeled as a hero. To some extent, she even agreed with others’ evaluation of him who said he was just ‘lucky’.

Her heart was pounding.

It was very painful to realize that her thoughts and mindset so far had been wrong.

“Are you crying?” He grabbed her arm and pulled it away. But there were no tears nor traces of sorrow on her face. Rather, it was an expression of anger. Lucius smiled slightly, not knowing why she was making such an expression.

She attempted to smile back at him, and he thought her smile looked soothing even in this situation.

Deatrice finally collapsed after feeling a surge of embarrassment. She raised her hand, grabbed his face, and started kissing him.

For a moment, Lucius’ eyes widened in surprise, then he slowly closed them to savor the moment.