Chapter 186.1

Chapter 186.1

Lee Wooshin did not engage in small talk with anyone until he finished his morning workout and shower.

People tend to be less suspicious if they appear to belong to a group. Therefore, the more one blends in, the less suspicion they attract.

In the past, for that reason, he would often create a friendly atmosphere or throw out silly jokes.

His lips were always casually turned up, and he would cleverly scratch the surface of people’s interactions. He learned from his grandfather that the greatest cunning is not appearing cunning, so he would infiltrate groups without drawing attention.

But all of that was in the past.

Now, Lee Wooshin lived with a completely rigid expression. He didn’t give anyone a glance, and his lips felt heavy as if they were weighed down by rebar.

“Instructor Maxim, today’s training is hand-to-hand combat, right?”

“Yes.”

“Please go easy on them. They’re still the most useful ones.”

“Are you talking about those skinny little shrimp?”

“Ah!”

“It seems the Gurkha’s reputation has fallen now.”

Her absence had transformed the man in an instant. The inflammation he had skillfully hidden burst, oozing out a yellowish discharge, and he had fallen into a profound depression.

It was clear that he was twisted in a terrible way. When he looked at his graying irises, his face seemed to resemble a distorted monster.

It seemed that he hadn’t lived skillfully; in fact, he had been rotting inside. It was at the worst moment that he met the Owl. The most chaotic time in his life was when everything began, and it was all his fault.

An empty shell cannot comfortably embrace someone. Its dry and parched embrace only caused her pain, and his heart, steeped in cynicism, blinded him from discerning what was truly precious.

Everything was due to his immaturity. Therefore, he was prepared to endure several years or even decades.

If he could pass through this time safely, he would pack his bags once again. He hoped that Sonya’s existence would not be revealed to the world. So, he wished for another failure this time.

To hide in a place that even he could not find.

“….”

Suddenly, Lee Wooshin froze.

Why isn’t it here?

The pale man fumbled through his empty pockets. Habitually trying to pull out the photo he kept in his pocket, his mind went blank. The wedding photo of Kim Hyun and the Owl, which he always carried with him, was nowhere to be found.

Just that small thing sent him into a panic, making it hard to breathe.

For a moment, he stood there dazed, seemingly losing his sense of direction, before suddenly bolting out of the accommodation.

He rushed through the shower room, laundry room, dining hall, and training room, searching frantically. His eyes were half-rolling as he pushed past people, looking only at the floor.

He breathed heavily like a beast that had lost its young. But no matter how much he searched, it was gone.

“….”

Damn, his eyes turned red with anger. The pent-up frustration he had been holding back exploded over the smallest trigger.

Bang! Lee Wooshin threw everything within reach against the wall of the accommodation, breaking things as his shoulders heaved. His thick chest rose and fell like rough waves.

That photo was the only remaining trace for Lee Wooshin. It was proof that they had met, gotten married, and lived together. It felt like the world was taking away everything precious from him, one by one.

It was clear that even looking at her photo, recalling her face, and reminiscing about those memories were all harsh punishments, as if they were forbidden.

His mind was flooded with such feelings of victimization and rage. He wanted to kill everything, be it the world or God.

Eventually, he started searching the mountainous areas, even skipping his training schedule. He could no longer trust himself, so he revisited every place he had been. He calculated the possibility that it might have fallen to the ground and blown away, stubbornly climbing to rugged areas he had yet to explore.

“Hu… Hahh…”

The high-altitude area always made it hard to breathe due to the lack of air. His chest tightened painfully, and his headache worsened.

Yet, he persevered with sheer willpower. His goal blurred at some point.

‘It seemed that merely possessing a piece of you was a sin.’ That sense of inferiority raised its head.

Trying to hold onto her absence felt like being harshly scolded. The desire to grab anyone and beg surged up like bile, and he clung to the sharp rocks.

Don’t take my family away from me anymore.

He had been deliberately exhausting himself, turning over every rock in the mountains, and soon his appearance was a mess. His fingers were red and swollen from digging through the gravel-strewn ground, and his hair had turned gray from the dust.

Now, he moved his legs as if self-harming, not knowing what he was searching for or where he was headed.

Eventually, he reached the summit and gazed at the thick fog, only to be struck by a miserable realization.

“I’ve lost it again.”

No matter how much he wandered, he couldn’t find it.

The mountain peaks were obscured by the dense clouds and fog, completely out of sight. His eyes, staring into the distance, trembled violently. His breath came in ragged gasps, and his lungs twisted painfully. A voice that seemed about to extinguish escaped his lips.

“It’s nowhere.”

The dry whites of his eyes turned watery and red.

“I can’t see you.”

If I offer my eyes, will I be able to see you? Will you then be imprinted in my heart?

Before he knew it, the season had turned cold.

Winter was approaching.

When Lee Wooshin returned to the training camp, he spotted Asha loitering in front of the quarters. Asha was the only woman in the unit he was training, a reserve member wearing a temporary command armband.

“Instructor!”

With wide eyes, Asha rushed toward the instructor, taken aback by his dirt-covered appearance.

Lee Wooshin glanced at the sunset visible behind the mountain slopes to gauge the time. For some reason, he stared indifferently at the anxious-looking reserve member, then passed by as usual.

Seeing this, Asha bit her lip. She blocked the instructor’s path once more.

“Wait a moment, Instructor!”

Her voice rang out stubbornly. At that, a chill settled in Lee Wooshin’s brow.

“You skipped today’s training. Where have you been?”

“Move aside.”

At the cold command, she clenched her fists and summoned her courage again.

“I can’t move! Graduation is just around the corner, what if our unit fails to complete the training because of this…”