Chapter 100.1

Chapter 100.1

How kind, considerate, and devoted he was to her was another matter entirely.

Jasmine had no prior experience building intimacy with someone as contradictory and strong-willed as him, which made her even less immune. Given that Jasmine usualy went along with others and laughed things off, it was even more challenging.

It might have been easier if she had a completely submissive nature, but Jasmine had her own firmness. She wasn’t indecisive or weak; she was simply good-natured and liked Richard a lot. That was why conflicts arose.

Ironically, these very traits were also what attracted them to each other.

Jasmine sighed and admitted it. The saying that the line between strengths and weaknesses is thin was indeed true.

“Fine. I admit that there is still some lingering feelings.”

Richard frowned as he stared intently at her. That expression he made when concentrating seemed like something that would never change even as he aged.

Suddenly, she envisioned his future self. Just that image made Jasmine realize how helplessly she was still drawn to him, sensing that persistent, tiny fragment within her. A sigh escaped her again.

“Even so, if we were to start again, don’t you think we’d end up arguing or facing similar issues?”

“I promise that won’t happen anymore. I won’t disregard your wishes or act hastily. I will adjust everything to suit you.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes narrowing as he echoed the words he’d been repeating to himself.

“Didn’t we have too little time to truly get to know each other? Are you judging our chances based on just those few days?”

“Those few days were enough to know that you were preparing for marriage without even telling me.”

As Jasmine sighed deeply, Richard moistened his parched lips. D@!mn it. He wanted to punch his past self. He ahd thought about it more than a hundred times already.

“That was… my mistake. I won’t do that again.”

“Richard, I’m very tired.”

The weariness was evident in her violet eyes. Richard held his breath at the glimpse of her true feelings.

“You may not understand, but before our brief relationship, I had faced too many frustrations and disappointments. Sure, you might think it doesn’t matter since it wasn’t a mutual relationship, but for me, it’s all connected. Because without my past self, that night wouldn’t have happened. This is a clear fact. I think you acknowledged it at some point too.”

Jasmine murmured as she recalled the hazy memories. She seemed to hold no grudges, but Richard mentally berated his past self once again.

“So, this isn’t about still resenting you; it’s about me not having the strength or courage to start a new relationship. It might be nice to date, but Richard, whether you realize it or not, being with you is mentally exhausting. Um, I don’t know how else to put it.”

“I understand. More or less.”

Richard spoke in a somber voice, more subdued than ever. Her straightforwardness was quite impactful. The aspects of himself he had come to realize through self-reflection had almost become a complex.

“I’m not trying to criticize or point fingers. It’s just your nature, and everyone is different. In the past, I might have found joy in adjusting to those things one by one, but now I can’t even imagine it. To put it more bluntly, I want a relationship that’s easy on the heart. I want to minimize the anxiety, patience, and conflict. But can that be us? I’m rather skeptical.”

Most of her points were valid. In fact, they were quite likely. Both of them had their own personalities and past histories, and yet they were strongly drawn to each other. It was hard not to clash. Jasmine sighed again as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“Wanting such a thing is really just wishful thinking. I have no argument if someone says there’s no such thing as a relationship without fights. But I’m scared of doing what’s supposed to be natural. I guess I’ve become a coward.”

Her last words were filled with self-reproach. Seeing her sorrowful face, Richard felt more pained than ever. For the fortieth time, he mentally berated himself as he gently stroked her small hand.

“Don’t blame yourself. It’s all my fault, isn’t it?”

“In a relationship, it’s never just one person’s fault. Looking back, I was quite immature too.”

She acknowledged it hollowly. Even if it wasn’t about the fight that night, she didn’t want to blame him for being unable to maintain her own center and being dragged along. There must have been a better way to handle things, even if it seemed inevitable. She shook her head.

“In conclusion, it’s never easy for me. You asked why it can’t work when it does for others?”

“….”

“It’s because it’s you. Because it’s you, it’s not easy.”

If by any chance…

“If we start again and end up with the same result, I don’t think I could bear it.”

Richard, seeing the past pain reflected on her face, barely managed to suppress the lump of iron that settled in his chest. He gritted his teeth.

“I will, I will adjust to everything.”

“…Richard.”

“Everything you want, I’ll adapt to it all. Can’t you trust me just this once?”

She hadn’t expected him to be so desperate.