Side Story 4

“Where’s the doctor!”

Kwon Chae-woo paced like he was losing his mind, then kicked the hospital room door open and barked for the medical staff. His shouting kept slamming into her ears.

Even as her vision shimmered and blurred, she saw his back soaked through with cold sweat. Tears spilled again.

Maybe it was her body, but the painkiller shot refused to work. For over twelve straight hours, she endured a night that felt like someone crushed her belly to pulp.

She had been the one biting through her lip, tears streaming down from pure reflex. But when she came to, bite marks chewed up Kwon Chae-woo’s index finger, and his sharp eyelids had swollen into thick folds. His voice sounded worse than hers too, cracked and wrecked, even though she was the one who had screamed.

“I’m sorry, Lee-yeon. f*ck, it’s all on me. I don’t even know this is what it’s like, and I already name a second and a third, not just our So Nam-woo. I don’t think it through. I’m an idiot. I’m a piece of shit…”

“Hng… Why do you go that far by yourself… Hah, ngh!”

“Lee-yeon!”

“Hoo, hoo. I’m fine, hoo…!”

“Don’t bite your lip. Just hit me. Kill me!”

“Shut up. Hoo, hoo, hng…!”

“I’m going to turn into a eunuch. fck. After this, I break my dck myself.”

She wanted to tell him it was okay, that he did not need to go that far, that she wanted to soothe him gently, but the pain felt like her stomach was splitting open, and it drained her down to nothing.

It got so bad she even missed the mother she had never once gone looking for. Sadness surged in for no reason at all.

So she cried. She cried without stopping, terrified out of her mind, and Kwon Chae-woo witnessed every ugly second with rigid eyes. Then he dropped to his knees and swore that from now on, he would do the mothering too.

No, Chae-woo, I’m fine with just one husband…

She should have said it. She did not. Her mind slipped.

Every time she blinked, the ceiling changed.

Kwon Chae-woo staring blankly with pale lips. Kwon Chae-woo pressing his head hard into the wall. Kwon Chae-woo burying his mouth against the back of her hand, shaking.

Then it was Choo-ja, watching her with a worried face. Then it was Kwon Chae-woo again, wearing a mask. And finally, the delivery room lights. The scene kept switching in front of her.

“Push, ma’am. Yes, that’s it. You’re doing great!”

The doctor and nurses’ voices boomed in her ears. Lee-yeon pushed on instinct, and Hwaido’s countless trees flashed through her mind.

A seed had to crack its own shell, shove aside hard soil, push through it, and break free. Baby, for you, she was ready to crumble into dust like dirt. So the moment you open your first leaf, Mom also…

Mom becomes.

The baby’s first cry burst into the air. Lee-yeon went limp with exhaustion and let out a breath that felt too full for her chest.

From now on, she would have no choice but to love Nam-woo, and to love the trees that forced their way up through all that pain, even more. A strange sensation washed over her, like she was becoming part of nature itself.

Kwon Chae-woo cut the umbilical cord and came to her, pressing his forehead to hers. He panted like he was the one dying.

A laugh escaped her before she could stop it.

“Baby’s dad. Stop crying now.”

“…”

“How are your eyes more swollen than the baby’s…?”

“Lee-yeon. I love you.”

With his confession, a tiny baby was placed in her arms. Wow… Thump, thump. A small but fierce heartbeat pressed through his skin into hers. Maybe because they had not wiped him clean enough, Nam-woo smelled like wet soil.

This is so strange. You feel like my hometown.

Heat rose behind Lee-yeon’s eyes. I’m really, really glad to meet you, my baby pine tree…

“…There was nerve compression during delivery. As the fetus passed through the pelvis, it appears the lumbar nerve was compressed. We need to monitor your progress, but paralysis symptoms may appear across the entire leg…”

After the birth, her legs would not move. No one saw it coming.

“Nerve damage generally recovers over time. The course varies from person to person, but if you keep up with physical therapy and rehabilitation exercises, recovery will likely come faster.”

Thankfully, she did not fall into despair. She found comfort in the simplest thing, smiling at baby photos several times a day.

Where did you even come from? Did I really give birth to a person?

Days vanished as she watched him grow plumper and fairer by the hour.

Surely my legs won’t stay like this forever. They’ll heal somehow. She believed that.

A year passed, and she still could not walk. She grew thinner, little by little. Without a wheelchair, she could not move around at all, and she never went outside. All treatment happened inside the house, and sometimes she felt like a plant, rooted in place, barely human.

More than anything, she could not face Kwon Chae-woo.

While she languished, he looked like he needed two or three bodies to keep up. He raised Nam-woo with Choo-ja, and he handled every part of Lee-yeon’s care himself. At the same time, he kept the business moving.

Yet he never once acted like it was hard. He only lifted Lee-yeon up again and again, carrying her like a princess, not like a patient, but like newlyweds enjoying each other. He always pressed his lips to her temple, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Even when she breastfed, she did it leaning into her husband’s arms. He unbuttoned her clothes with his own hands, supported the baby with her, and even with her breast exposed, Kwon Chae-woo stayed quiet and simply brushed her hair back.

Bathing her naked, undressing her, dressing her again, she relied on Kwon Chae-woo for everything. Their home had not just one high maintenance baby now, but two.

In between, he saw things she never wanted anyone to see. Bodily functions, messes, and when her period returned, she felt truly humiliated.

“Get out, get out. Kwon Chae-woo, you don’t need to see this. Stop making it harder, get out. I really hate this…!”

“Lee-yeon.”

“Don’t, seriously don’t… Hic…!”

Every time she cried and lashed out, Choo-ja rushed in and pushed Kwon Chae-woo away. Through the narrowing gap of the closing door, she caught a glimpse of him lowering his head.

Emotion surged up her throat. Lee-yeon bit her lip.

I don’t want to act like a patient, but if I do this, I look like a real patient…

The more steadfast he acted, the more strangely something inside her began to rot. When Lee-yeon buried her face in misery, Choo-ja rubbed her back and soothed her.

“Of course it’s hard. Our Lee-yeon, it’s hard, isn’t it.”

Kwon Chae-woo kept flickering through her mind, standing outside the door like an old tree, and it made her chest ache. She regretted pushing him away so sharply, but no matter how much it hurt, she did not want to throw away her pride as a woman, too.

But was it already too late.

They did not sleep in separate rooms, but at some point, Kwon Chae-woo set up a separate single bed for her, saying it was for her comfort. He stopped kissing her deeply. The touches that used to slip under her clothes disappeared, cleanly cut away.

After she lost the ability to walk, Lee-yeon started to feel like she was no longer a woman, no longer a wife, not even that. Kwon Chae-woo picked up on the anxiety with painful sensitivity and held her all night, letting her rest on his arm.

But a newborn cried often, and Kwon Chae-woo ran to him on strong legs. When he brought Nam-woo into the bedroom, Lee-yeon reached out her arms.

The three of them became one mass. They changed, and they adapted into something new.

Evolved.

Yeah. If that was the word…

Then sometimes you had to shed old skin, cut it off completely. Even if that skin was something like a man and woman relationship.

“Lee-yeon. Lee-yeon. I can’t cut the baby’s nails. I feel like I’m going to clip his skin…”

“But it’s your turn this time, Chae-woo.”

“I can’t. My hands are shaking. Look, Lee-yeon… I’ve got tremors.”

“You used to bury people just fine.”

“Lee-yeon, are you going to keep exposing my past to Nam-woo?”

As they repeated childcare and caregiving, rehab and treatment, the three of them became a tightly bound family. They stopped having s*x, but they could not live without each other. They became a couple twisted together from start to finish like two trees grafted into one.

Then the seasons changed, and the recovery that had been so slow happened in the blink of an eye. Even limping, Lee-yeon walked straight toward Kwon Chae-woo. She stood while gripping the crib. She climbed stairs. Later, she ran, and she even hiked without trouble.

“Lee-yeon. Let’s go back to the forest.”

On the day she was declared fully recovered, Kwon Chae-woo urged her to return to work. He told her to reclaim the time she had lost sitting in a wheelchair, and to find “So Lee-yeon” again. He spoke like he truly believed that was the only way she could be happy. He stayed firm.

But, but… Chae-woo, I…

I thought we were going to have s*x first….