Chapter 59.1

Chapter 59.1

As Higgins started to leave the study with rigid steps, he paused and turned around. Seeing his master holding a letter and laughing out loud, his wrinkled eyes widened. Then, lest he be a disturbance, he quietly closed the study door and slipped out.

André quickly sliced open the corner of the envelope with a sharp letter opener.

He thought he smelled a faint floral fragrance from somewhere. As soon as he took out the neatly folded pink letter, flattened red rose petals fluttered onto the desk.

He picked up the rose petals and took a deep breath. The brittle, dried petals felt soft as he rubbed them between his fingers. André was instantly reminded of Miran’s scent.

When he rubbed his nose against her smooth neck, her shoulders would shake because she was ticklish. When he buried his lips in her neck and inhaled, the faint rose scent mixed with the sweet smell of her skin paralyzed his brain, like a person intoxicated by drugs.

“Ha…”

His body reacted without fail. He shifted uncomfortably and unfolded the letter.

‘Dear ANDLE,

Have you arrived safely in New York? I heard the time there is the opposite of ours. Have you adjusted to the jet lag? Are you healthy and doing well?

Well, first things first.

Do you know you left an envelope with money at the hotel? How could you forget such a large sum of money? It had ten thousand dollars in it. I took care of the envelope for you.

I can’t send cash by mail because of the risk of theft. So, if you give me your account number, I’ll wire the money to you.

I asked at the bank, and they said they need the recipient’s name, bank name, account number, bank address, and a payment bank code called SWIFT COD.’

After reading this far, André sighed in dismay and shook his head.

[She didn’t understand after all.]

He had overlooked what kind of person Miran was. He should have explained it more directly instead of speaking metaphorically.

[Should I send a short reply at least…]

He lowered his gaze back to the letter and chuckled.

‘It must be SWIFT CODE. Not COD (codfish).’

Miran’s English skills were truly terrible. But that clumsy English had a cute side, like a young child just beginning to learn to speak.

André’s lips curled into a smile. He didn’t even realize that he was smiling for the first time since arriving in New York.

‘I’m doing well, without any problems. No, actually, that’s a lie. I’m not doing well. (I’m not sick or anything. My body is fine.)

It’s only been two days since you left, but I miss you so, so much. Do you miss me too?

Yesterday, I happened to read a poem, and suddenly I was in tears.

It turned out that some poet had already expressed my feelings in a poem.

I want to share a passage from Han Yong-un’s poem, “The Theory of Connection 2,” that resonated with me. (Actually, there was a part in the middle that I didn’t like, so I left it out. If you’re curious, I’ll tell you in the next letter.)

Instead of being sad that we cannot be together forever

I rejoice that we can be together even for a moment

Instead of being angry that you do not love me more

I am content that you like me this much

Instead of feeling sorry for myself

I’m grateful I can have love, even if it’s pitiful

Instead of being tired of a love that only gives

I ache that I cannot give more

Don’t give up early because it is an unattainable love

It’s a pure love that can be cherished for a long time

I will love you like that

The poem has written my true feelings for me.

You must be very busy adjusting, but please reply when you have time. Always stay healthy.

September 24, 1995

Miran

It’s already been a month since he left Korea. It would be a lie if he said he hadn’t thought of Miran during that time. Fragments of memories lurking deep within his subconscious would overwhelm his consciousness at unexpected moments.

While showering, while jogging, even while eating asparagus.

He had a wet dream for the first time since he was a teenager, dreaming of chasing Miran, who was fleeing from him into a deep forest, a nymph covering her dazzling nakedness with her long, wavy hair reaching down to her waist.

The doubt he felt at that time.

André put down the letter and rubbed his face roughly.

‘Was I waiting for this letter?’

It was true that he was curious about how Miran was doing. After almost a month without any news, he had begun to doubt whether she had seen the note.